Thursday, March 27, 2014

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (2014) TRAILER - What. The. Shell?

So. . . this is a thing that's happening.


 From Producer Michael Bay. . .


Well, they did warn us.


So the good? Um. . . I actually kinda like the "costumes" for the turtles, especially the home-made samurai gear for Leonardo. And. . . I guess it's cool that the turtles are BIG (about two feet taller than their original height it seems), and. . .

Honestly, I've got nothing else. Megan Fox is not a great actress, and putting her in the "audience stand-in" role is not a good use of her limited skill-set. The Turtles' origin story is a non-issue for me, except that the film-makers went with the most obvious and moronic simplification possible in this reboot-with-a-double-dose-of-DESTINY world: "<Main Character's Father> was instrumental in creating <the super-powered macguffin> while working with The Bad Guy."

Because that worked SO well for The Amazing Spider-man.

But honestly, that's not the deal-breaker. Not even the - at this point - pretty poor-looking action (free advice to all would-be blockbuster directors - HOLD THE CAMERA STILL). No, it's that the turtles' design looks kinda. . . well, creepy. They're a little too anthropomorphized, (lips and noses on reptiles do not work) and they just end up careening down into the uncanny valley. They just look ugly.

There's also the question of the tone this is trying to strike - it might just be the Bay-ssociation, but the lurching swing between "gritty!" and "goofy!" are reminiscent of the Transformers films, a series that took a kid's cartoon and turned it into one of the most luridly sexualized and gleefully violent "kid-targeted" franchises ever. I could be wrong, but is that the sort of feel they're going for with TMNT as well? Not saying it couldn't work, but - 

Wait, Shredder's some white guy now? I give up.

1 comment:

  1. you raise my concerns, i would have tried to hold back the anthropomorphic look with reptile eyes. Just to see how detached I would feel vs human eyes. It stands out to much and distracts. They look like oversize and scary infant faces crossed with the Goomba's from Mario Bro's movie. See what I mean? I know the older movies they had human eyes, but the concept was childish/cartoon. This here is trying to be very will, very detailed. Concept art it looked great, but now seeing them it is too much human. It's tuff to do right, and maybe it will grow on me.

    The samurai outfits look nice, but they're Ninjas. I feel it's a another miss-conceptualizing of a culture in western media again. well the whole trailer felt that way. regardless of calling this a reinterpretation to prance around that fact.

    Shaking cam things is Bay's thing, because he can not build any real sense of suspense or thrill without it. A crutch, huge one for that matter. As for shredder, the costume will be nice, and fit, along with the ooze.

    what about Splinter? Here's hoping something just might be better off staying the same, but I have a feeling it's going to April's Father. Shredder's doing...

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