Monday, August 13, 2018

THE MEG - Bruce Almighty

I, uh. . . look, I at least had to try to equal the pun on the poster, ok?



See? Anyway. . .

There are people who will tell you that The Meg is junk, and stupid, and very bad. These people are 2/3 correct. But, as it happens, while The Meg is very dumb and very junky, it's shockingly good.

Loosely adapting the novel by Steve Alten, director John Turtletaub (National Treasure) introduces us first to Jonas Taylor (yes, the hero tangling with the giant aquatic animal is a single letter away from "Jonah," subtlety is not a factor here), a veteran rescue diver, as he attempts to save the survivors of a wrecked nuclear submarine that seems to have been attacked by. . . something. Of course, Things Goes Terribly Wrong, and Jonas leaves the rest of his rescue team behind in order to save the sub crew. Flash forward to 5 years later, and Jonas' friend Mac calls him back into action to save another sub crew. A father-daughter scientist team and a cavalier billionaire have found what might be the deepest part of the ocean, but their exploration crew seems to have been attacked by. . . something.

Ok, so here's where The Meg shows its smartest Stupid Giant Killer Shark Movie hand. You know this movie has a giant killer shark. You've seen the trailer, you know what "Meg" stands for (even if your understanding of Megalodon doesn't extend much further than "giant shark"), but no one in the movie knows that yet, and the film very deliberately establishes a cast of characters who have solid dynamics, specified areas of expertise, and clashing personal histories/priorities and then gives them very clear goals to accomplish and challenges that get in their way. The first act is a perfectly functional aquatic exploration/adventure scenario before sharks even get mentioned, and this allows us to understand most of the characters wants and needs so that the second and third acts can throw them into a bottle with a big pissed-off fish and shake everything the hell up.

Statham can probably play "wounded badass" in his sleep, but he lays on earnestness and charm as well as the survivor's guilt, and has an easy chemistry both with Cliff Curtis as James "Mac" Mackreides and Li Bingbing as Dr. Suyin Zhang (as well as her daughter Meying). The supporting cast makes themselves just likeable enough that you don't want these chums to become Meg Chum, even if none of them get much to do beyond "The thing I'm good at" or "noble sacrifice" or "telegraphed fatal mistake." The writing leans a little heavy on every exchange seemingly having to end in a quip (if MARVEL Studios made a giant killer shark movie, I have a feeling it would end up something like this, and that's a compliment), but the film walks the line of gleefully indulging in its own ridiculousness rather than smugly turning and winking to the audience before tripping over its own feet.

Once the titular giant shark comes into play, the movie more than makes good on the promise of its marketing - in fact, it almost delivers 2 giant killer shark movies for the price of one with the myriad of plans, failed attempts, counter-plans, shocking reversals, and last stands that it packs into its less-than-2-hour run time. Movie fans will find plenty of cute references to other genre touchstones (I was not expecting a nod to Star Trek IV, but here we are), as well as bountiful rampaging shark action as things kick into gear. The film pushes the PG-13 just enough so that the human cost feels genuine without tipping over into gruesome or mean-spirited (this is Jaws-level violence, not Deep Blue Sea or Piranha), and that compliments the delicately-balanced tone between buddy comedy and monster mayhem that Turtletaub strikes here.

After 10 years of being stuck in development hell (at one point Guillermo del Toro was attached to this thing, it's been around), I can't believe that the end result is so rock-solid. Having waded through so many noisy blockbusters that depend on constant shrieking by characters who hate each other as they make endless stupid decisions, it's refreshing to see a movie that's relatively smart about being big and noisy. It feels like a throwback to the '90s in much the same way as last year's surprise hit Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle.

Except, instead of stampeding animals you have. . . you know. The Meg.

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